I
sat in St. Mark’s Church on New Year’s Day so long that my butt
went completely numb and I caught cold, and Jim didn’t show.
I was disappointed’ to say the least, considering he was no
show the year before.

I
actually didn’t even know that the show was happening until
Thursday when my boyfriend threw the section of the paper with
all the happenings at me and asked me what I wanted to do for
my birthday. I didn’t get my hopes up, considering that I haven’t
had the best luck (or the right age) to see Jim before, but
I ended up at the Tune Inn with my friend Jesse.

Jim was amazing! I have never seen him, or seen him read before.
I wish he’d read some of his older stuff… all of it was from
Forced Entries and Void of Course, and the last
section of his book which seems fantastic!!! I loved to hear
the way he read, so that I knew what was supposed to be really
funny, and what was just funny to me. His emphasis on his own
work, which had already changed my life, was incredible.

The
best treats (in my opinion) were “8 Fragments for Kurt
Cobain” and him singing “I Want the Angel.”

I
got to meet him afterward, I brought my beat-up, marked-up copy
of Fear of Dreaming and prayed that if it landed in his
hands he wouldn’t see the scribbling (some profound, some just
silly) I had written throughout the book. I told him that I
only wanted to ask him 2 things (i was visibly shaking i was
so excited) 1) if he would sign my book, and 2)
if i could have a hug.

I
wasn’t expecting his hug to be as great as it was. I didn’t
really think for whatever reason that ‘most people’ were down
with embracing strangers, regardless of who they are, but he
wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big, tight hug and
all I could say was “thank you… thank you for writing” even
though in my head there was a more elaborate thanks i had planned.
Jesse asked for a hug too, and was given one (as Jesse said
about the hugs, mine was longer cause i have tits).

I
am justified finally, he is not a figment – and now that i have
seen him in the flesh and know for myself that he exists, and
I am so happy and blessed to have heard him and met him.